Cari Blog Number 17

Cari Blog Number 17

Im writing a blog tonight, because Eric doesn’t really want to do a video.  For those of you who are our facebook buddies, you’ve probably already heard the news, as news in Manitowoc/Two Rivers travels fast.   I also want everyone to know that there’s a Valentine’s day video of Eric and I out there from TMJ4 out of Milwaukee.  They did a piece on us for Valentine’s day and how our love has made it through some pretty crazy things.  I believe there is a link on this webpage somewhere to it!

Saturday Night,  Eric and I had gotten home from a friends engagement party.  It was a nice little gathering of friends. We had a good time hanging out, eating good food, and just talking.  Eric and I have had the same group of friends for years.  That’s how we pretty much met. Mutual friends.   I don’t know what happened, but when we got home, Eric and I got in our first REAL fight ever.  Honestly, we’ve never really had a fight. EVER.  I know some people think we fight all the time, but really, that’s just our way of joking around.  We’ve honestly never gotten in a real fight before.  He’ll eat the last piece of candy and I’ll say, “we’re fighting.”  When we first started dating, people really thought we were fighting.  Eric’s mom always knew we were just kidding, but some people truly believed that all we did was fight.   Anyway, we get in our first fight of our relationship on Saturday night, and it didn’t last long. Within an hour, we both had admitted our wrongdoings, and neither of us slept on the couch.

I look back at that fight, and I will cherish it forever.  Too often people take things for granted in their lives.  I love the fact that I can fight with my husband.  I can tell him anything, and he will try to understand. I can cry on his shoulder when I need to, and he knows he can cry on mine.  I may get upset when he leaves plates laying around for the dog to get at, and he may get annoyed when I don’t take all the time off the microwave, he may get annoyed when I don’t refill the toilet paper roll, and I may get annoyed when he leaves the seat up.  He may scream at video games loud enough for the whole neighborhood to hear, and I may move around so much in my sleep that there’s a chance I’m dreaming that I’m Chuck Norris beating the snot out of the bad guys.  These are also things I will cherish.  This all may sound weird to you, but will make sense in a bit.

There are things every married couple does on a daily basis, like say, “I love you.” Or give each other a hug, or wake up next to each other almost every morning, or cook for each other, or stop and pick up a 12 pack of soda on their way home from work.  When I send Eric to the store for something, he always comes back with some form of chocolate. He’s even attending a dance competition because he knows how much it means to me and my dancers that he shows up.  He supports me in everything I do. These sound like simple things to everyone out there reading them…but for the rest of my life, I will appreciate every small little simple gesture Eric does.

Today, while I was at my parents house napping before dance class, because I had spent  the week up there, I got a call from Eric.  .02% of his cells in his body were found to be cancer cells.  This is not what I was expecting to hear, and to be honest, it didn’t register with me right away.  It took me a bit to figure out what that meant.  I spent the rest of the day in tears.  The only time I stopped crying was when Mary, Brian, and Ava showed up at dance class because Ava wanted to give me a hug.  (And Miss Ava, that hug really helped)  I got a substitute teacher (Dayna and Alyssa, Thank you so much for everything, and Maureen, thanks for rocking ballet) and headed home.

All I know is that Eric has some cancer running through his system right now.  What we don’t know is if it’s leftover from before his transplant, and his donated cells haven’t attacked these cells yet, or if it’s his cancer coming back.  I am hoping and praying that it’s his transplant hasn’t attacked those cells yet, and they will.   As soon as we know more details we will let you know, but as of right now, for every 5,000 cells in Eric’s body, 1 is a cancer cell.  This came as a total shock to me, as I was busy enjoying being married and normal, and having arguments, and taking my husband holding the door open for me for granted.

Eric and I both appreciate all your support and love throughout all of this.    The truth is, for the first time in most of this, I really honestly broke down.  I’ve usually been the one to stay positive and hold out hope on this, but today I just didn’t have it in me.  The last time I had seen him, we were upset with each other over the stupidest things in the world.  From here on out, I encourage everyone out there to always tell the ones you love that you love them, to always kiss your significant other goodnight, to never go to bed angry at each other, and to always, always, always tell people how much you appreciate them.

Thanks again for all of your continued support, and we will update you as soon as we know more!

Quote

  • The reason that these years have been the best is that I think that I might have had a somewhat positive impact on your lives and perhaps your understanding of what cancer is and what it can do, to both those of us that it has personally attacked and those of us who know someone who is going through it. -Eric McLean
  • I just want children to be left with a better life than what I was left with," he said. "I want them to experience the feeling I had in my life when I realized that I really mattered.
    ~ Larry Hisle
  • Realistically, I have two more Olympic cycles in me. I'm not going to let this beat me.  I've gained a lot of strength from you guys, if Eric can fight 5 times over I can overcome this one year of setbacks.
    ~ Chris Solinsky
  • Strange is our situation here upon earth. Each of us comes for a short visit, not knowing why, yet sometimes seeming to divine a purpose. From the standpoint of daily life, however, there is one thing we do know: that man is here for the sake of other men. ~ Albert Einstein
  • Never, never, never give up.
    ~ Winston Churchill
  • I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind. But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see. Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me! ~ Dr. Seuss
  • Once you choose hope, anything's possible.
    ~ Christopher Reeve
  • If you're going through hell, keep going.
    ~ Winston Churchill